


To find a way

by soundsaboutright



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Oral Sex, Sensuality, i'm not upset, probably season 3, the malec teaser made me do it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2018-03-13
Packaged: 2019-03-31 00:16:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13963212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soundsaboutright/pseuds/soundsaboutright
Summary: “I’m not upset.”It’s not so easy for Magnus to let himself be loved.Alec will always find a way, though.





	To find a way

**Author's Note:**

> The Malec scene teaser made me do it.
> 
> Stay for the end, it gets, well, hotter. <3

 

The thing is, Magnus _notices_ the way Alec’s brow furrows. When Magnus tells him he’s not upset.

He notices Alec's eyes on him whenever Magnus proclaims that yes, he is fine, lately. His lover’s attention then becomes a near tangible thing, a curiosity that- when it comes to Magnus- is so very much _not_ duty, but instead genuine interest and care.

It’s what almost makes Magnus give in sometimes, and take another deeper look at himself and inside, too.

But it isn’t a lie, when Magnus says he’s alright. It cannot be.  It’s not the hiding of another truth, rather than him speaking a new truth into existence.

And it is true:  Pride has been hurt, yet pain has been acknowledged, too; albeit mostly within the swift privacy of his own company.  But nobody will profit from Magnus wallowing further in it, pitying himself. So instead, it’s about moving on, actively and willfully so, and there’s no need to put it all on Alec’s shoulders as well.

No need for any hurt to be spoken into existence, along with it.

 

They’ve been here before, but Magnus knows he will choose this path again.

 

Alec might know it, too.

For as it is, there will always come the point, when Alec accepts Magnus’ words, takes them for what they are and aren't; with a curt nod, a lopsided curve of lips, and lowered lashes.

And if Alec’s touch will become even gentler afterwards, then that is exactly who Alec is.

He will smile at Magnus, all warmth and plain and pure affection, everything laid out to be seen and had, for Magnus to take in the stead of words unspoken.

 

It is what Alec does this very evening.

It’s with that excact kind of smile, that he teasingly steals Magnus’ Martini out of his hand, taking a sip for himself, only to reliably screw his face up in a grimace over the taste of it.

There’s a knowing spark in Alec’s eyes, when just as dependably, Magnus can’t suppress a smile of his own at it.

 

The drink is set aside then, when Magnus finds himself maneuvered to the couch, and sinking down into the soft seat, all he can do is look at Alec;

watch how he gets down on his knees with him, to sit on the floor before him, pushing himself gently between Magnus’ thighs, folding his forearms loosely in Magnus’ lap.

Alec's playful brow above brown eyes that never leave Magnus’, that never lose that smile that speaks so much.  It’s slow blinks and bends of lips and question and answer and thank you and please.

Magnus can’t believe that man before him, can only shake his head in awe at him when Alec’s fingers come to trace over the zip of his pants.

 

There’s a softness about Alec’s eyes and voice then.  “Yeah?”  Low and light but grounded in that simple honesty that always undoes Magnus.

“Yes.”

 

And Alec takes his time.

Opens and uncovers Magnus with something very much alike reverence, brushing his nose and face along sensitive thighs beneath fabric, then naked hot skin.

And that is really what it is, Alec _taking his time,_ Magnus thinks. Because even if Magnus could never _not_ find pleasure in the warmth of Alec’s lips on him, this is just as much for Alec to enjoy as it is for him, and it’s something that drives Magnus crazy with the thought of it.

Alec is loving him with his mouth. 

Leisurely. Slowly. So very unhurried.

Magnus’ pants are only just undone, his cock and balls bare, and Alec is kissing him _there_ , arms bracketed around his hips on the couch, like they never want to leave.

Licks and careful blunt-teethed bites and caresses. There’s no real rhythm to it.  Alec will close his eyes and hum, and come back with even more gentle, tender swipes of tongue, pressing and dragging his lips, open and wet, all over Magnus.

Magnus heart aches already after a short while of this, for it is all so nearly unbearably _nice_. All his years, and Magnus could not ever dream up a love that allowed the space for something quite like this.

Alec’s presence trickles through every one of Magnus’ layers, leaving a coat of sweetness around his core, beneath his skin. A subtle spell of protection that is Alec’s magic alone. Alec, who is pouring love and comfort into him, and Magnus suddenly isn’t sure if he can take it all.

He sucks in a breath he seems to have forgotten.

“Alexander. Alec.” Magnus reaches a trembling hand to touch to Alec’s cheek, when dark eyes open for him. “Doesn't your jaw get tired, love?” 

Alec’s smile is slow like sleep-drugged. “No.”  He already puts his vowel-shaped, open lips on Magnus again, completing the curve of his grin there, but then he pauses, seems to think better of it: “Do you want me to stop?”

And how does Magnus deserve him? “No.” He finds he really doesn’t. Doesn't want him to stop.

Alec’s eyes are wide, attentive and clear on Magnus, like Magnus hadn’t thought possible only seconds ago. “No.” He says it again. Breathes a tremor in his hand away, one that he doesn’t understand anyway.

“Okay.” Alec ghosts his lips across skin, their wetness catching on soft hairs.

Magnus finds himself taking in another breath, and Alec’s eyebrow ticks up, affectionate; waiting; endlessly patient. Magnus has to close his eyes for a moment to concentrate on what he seems to want to say.

“No, this is… bliss. I just thought your mouth might get tired.“ He pushes a strand of hair out of Alec’s forehead in a caress, voice sounding thin to his own ears:  “Alexander, this is bliss, but I can’t… it might not be enough to make me come from it alone, love. Not slow like that…”

There’s something he can’t quite decipher in Alec’s eyes. Before he can think to name it, it rushes a surge of heat up his chest, though.

“I know.” It falls from Alec’s lips, blunt and raw, casual and profound.

And Magnus’s mind blanks.

He can only hang on to it, to the glint to Alec's eyes: dark and real and there.

“It does feel good, though? You do feel good?”

“Yes!” it’s breathless, barely a whisper.  "Yes, I do." Magnus blinks against a wetness in his eyes he doesn’t fully comprehend, and Alec waits and nods.

“Good.” He holds Magnus’ gaze a moment longer for emphasis, and maybe something more.

Magnus finds himself completely and utterly disarmed. Couldn't find the words to describe what he feels even if he wanted to, as he watches Alec's head dip down again.

So he lets himself sink back deeper into the cushions.

“I will, though.”

Alec adds it as an afterthought, almost too casual, his mouth already moving against Magnus again; he looks up once more through his lashes: “Make you come, I mean.”

Then his grin is hidden away against skin, and Magnus actually gets lightheaded.

He can barely hear through the loud pulse in his ears then, but he feels it whispered into him, soothing his soul:

“Only a little while longer.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think, always, because I love reading your thoughts and feels <3


End file.
